It has almost been a year since the Rickman family spent a week on the beach in North Carolina.

I don’t think I realized at the time how happy that week was - the opulant house, being with Gretchen and the kids, drinking wine with Erika, hanging out with Jason and Hans Karl and Gus, making cookies with Auntalie,  telling Markus about Daft Punk, surfing the net with Stefan,  discovering Banksy for the first time, playing chess with Lars and Tobias, playing card games with Brita and Leif.

What I remember most were the sunrises in the morning, with the weak but bright sun coming up over the ocean; making the first pot of coffee; walking on the cold beach; sitting on the porch during the day watching the waves; celebrating Christmas; taking naps and waking to the sound and smells of the winter beach; cooking and seeing the kids play games in the driveway; watching football in the living room; eating huge and delicious dinners.

And I remember listening to ‘Grace is Gone’ one afternoon while the kids napped.  I played this album a couple of times in the afternoon while the kids slept.  During one song, Dave Matthews utters the ‘F-word’, which Auntalie picked out of all the words, completely missing the haunting beauty of the CD.  (To be fair to Auntalie, most people in the house did not appreciate this album as much as I did.)

Strangley, it was Ursula who told me to listen to Dave Matthews.  She had seen him on television (Austin City Limits?) and this album came out shortly afterwards.

I had never been a fan - in fact I never listen to the other album I have of his. But this acoustic album is different.  It speaks to me.  It reminds me of cold and rainy North Carolina winter days.  It is dark and beautiful.

“One drink to remember, then another to forget
How could I ever dream to find sweet love like you again
One drink to remember, and another to forget
Excuse me please one more drink
Could you make it strong cause I don’t need to think
She broke my heart my Grace is gone
One more drink and I’ll move on
One more drink and I’ll be gone”

I wish I could go back in time and experience the days on the beach again.  When I drink I remember; when I listen I can see it all again.  I haven’t forgotten.